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Okay, like, I'm a virgin and all, but this next paragraph mayy be veryy disturbingg...
So there's this really hot kid I see sometimes and I look at him and alll I wanna do is bang him.BANG him.BANG THE LIVING SH*T outta him.Just,pin him against the wall and start making the f*ck out with him and just freakin' go hard.God he's hot.I love the way he looks all hotly eyed when he walks around.i love his height.i love his hair.i love his face.i love him.And yes,i have been stalking him for the past oh,3 years and 3 months,no big deall err' anything.ive just wanted his azz on mine for that long.God.and i sit there and have these daydreams and all these bad dreams and fb stalking and even when i try not to think of his sexiness each time i see him i just can't.its crazy.its bad.the second i saw him i knew i wanted that kid.i was like daaanggg!and i never even talked to him and i wanna but not to get to know him but just to ask him to bang but i dont thinkk he's that type of guy.ahhhhhhhhhh i wannnnt hiiimmmm insiiiidddeeee meeee ohhhhmyyygoodddddddd he's just like, i could write a novel on how freakin' hot he is and how freakin much i wanna take him and pin him against a wall and just like,straight up bang.bang.bang.bang.all day.every day.just dig my lippers into his lippers and push my tounge down his hotazz throat till he chokes and just freakin kill him.why,why,why am i sooo dumb?i waaaaaaaaaaaannnnnttt to lick whip cream off him and and run my fingers through his gorgeous hair and die.i wanna hug him till his lungs collapse.Aaaand i am a perv.

Floral print♥

U2♥

Sooo.What are your plans for Easter??

"Get it together, Kelly,get it together"♥
~Tim McGraw
 
Kno wat's kindaa been on my mind a lot lately?
Suicide.
Like, how easy it is for like, someone to kill themselves...Which then kinda brings it back to like, how easy would it be for you to kill yourself?Like,honestlyy.I've had like, life incidents where I have been like,okay that's it I'm done there's' no point I could just end this pain right now.Whenever I have like, bad depression episodes which is pretty much atleast once every 2-3 weeks.Or like, normal depression episodes are pretty much every day.I promise you 6 million dollars if I had a problem or was thinking about legitly killing myself, I would rather go through with the suicide then tell my parents.Legitly.I would never tell them ANYTHING.ever.ever.evereverever.They're those parents where, they like to bandage things up and act like they're okay.Like, as long as our family looks functionable to everyone else, then it's probably okay.As long as we look the part,then maybe,just maybe,we'll actually feel it.As long as we try so hard to parent our children to the point of straining them,then we've done our job.Don't get me wrong I love em tah death and I'm thankful,its just that I can't stand the fact that they don't trust me.I don't do anything.I promise.I sit my butt at home and do nothing.Like, there's no time for me to do anything bad,cuz I'm at home 24/7 and I just can't do it noo moree.I think that's like, why so many teenagers feel the need to rebel cuz like, parents don't grant them enough freedom and deem them as stupid and misunderstood and whatnooottt. But then I guess its not just teens that are depressed. It's adults too. It's just--people aren't meant to do the same thing everyday, they're meant to be around other people. Which is why countries like, Costa Rica for example are so oddly happy. You think like, "omg poor bleahhbleehh" but then you think well,I guess by not having as much, they can't loose sight of what's important and they pretty much socialize much more and seem more thankful.....Also like, on war.I am soooo anti-war it's nooottt even funny. There's just no point. It's people on a battlefield, friggin' not even knowing each other and killing each other for no reason other than a group of like, 200 government people,said heeeyy lets jus spontaneously kill 70000000000000 people for fun! And the people don't know each other, and they're prolly thinkin' the same thing about each other like, "who the fkkk r u???"Ahhh im sooo tireddd gnittees,boys n' gurrls.

God hahahahahahahah!!!I was just thinkin' I remember when these one people moved near us at our lakehouse and they had a boy that was my age and hahaha it was Summer after 8th grade like, omfg I was soooooooooooooo immature!!!Like,he used to look over at my house all the time cuz he wanted to "impress the girls" with his ha "mad jetski driving skills" and I used to be like,omgomg he's looking over here holy crap he loves me we are going to get married tomorrow!!!And I didn't even have like, 1 legit conversation with the kid.Then, the Summer after that, summer before my sophomore year I was like omg I soooo gotta loose 10 pounds soso he thinks I'm gorg and I need to go out with someone like, right nooooow and be more social and like, omg omgomg.So then I walked my stupidazz over there and started talking awkwardly with him about sh*t I don't even KNOW about it was sooooooooo dumb!!!Like,AHHHHHH!I can't even FATHOM how stupid and immature I was!Like,I sucked at LIFE!I HAD no LIFE!Hahahahahahaha!!!And now,everytime I think of him I think"EEEEEWWWWW!!!" like, soooo over that crap!And everyone around is like "oooh u luv him,blahblahblah!"And i used to be like"yes!yes!I'm desperate!Pleaase go out with meee!"And now...."HAHAHAHAH WHAT in the NAME of JEZUS CHR*ST was I THINKING!!???"Okay,yeaaah suure he's hot but truth of the matter is...I don't CARE.I never actually CARED.Like,he's the awkwardest kid I have eeever met in the whoole century of the universe.Like,he won't even make small talk err' anything for one,I don't know him,and no offense in all,but I really don't WANT to even know him.Kayyy not to be a beyotch in all,but he seems like kindove a JaCkazz.Like,he's rude.Idk if its like,shyness or antisocialness or creeped out by my stupidity but he's rude....And AWKWARRRDDD.AWKWARD.A-W-K-W-A-R-D.Awkward.It's like, you have like,maanymanymany sisters and you still can't talk to a normal person normally.Much less a girl?Like what.the.f*ck. is wrong with you,kidd??And then he like,shows off for my friends and I and like, doesn't even like, stop over and say hi or like,"win us over" I guess or anything.It's like "re-frickin'-tard.stop showing your azz off and thinking you're the s*it when you don't do jack s*it!"Sooo whats the flippin' point of showing off for us,STUPID??And then,oooh i can't tube with a buncha girls cuz uhhhh my cousins are over.Uhhh,kay???Even if you did have like, a girlfriend or something like, you could still not be awkward and tube with us and at least try to act nice.It's not like we're gunna give you "coootieees" or something.It's not like we're juss gunna fall headoverheels in luv with u and ur gunna makout with us and automattically cheat on ur girlfriend(psht if any girl even likes u,that is).Yeah like, I would go tubin with a buncha hot guys if I had a boyfriend no big deal.It's just tubing....And then I'm like, pulling my friend on a kneeboard and he like, comes up on his jetski and like, tries to showoff for us right in our kneeboarding path.It's like"jackazz,get.the.f*ck.outta the muthah.f*ckin.way.stupid.idiotic.freak.YOU.ARE.NOT.COOL.
There,nuff said.
.......& this is why I hated being a Freshman.
Thank my lucky stars my stupid,fat,immature freshman years are over and I don't treat guys that retardedly no more.

There's a little bit of Devil in those angel eyes she's a little bit of heaven with a wilder side♥
 
Je Chri I flirt like krazy, this needs to stop!Like,I lead guys on like the 4th of July,Jeeepers!!! It's just like, sooo addictive and EASY.Like, not to bee weird but I've always kinda wanted to be like, a heartbreaker.It's like,I want what I can't have err' somethinggg...Like,guys are AlllWays cheating and stuff so why can't girls be playas?Hmmm?Ever think bout' ThAt!? Like,I always secretly thought it was cool to be a player if ur a girl and idk y.not like, a sl*t like, dont even sleep with them.If you're powerful enough to get 90909 guys to stay with you without s*x then u must be like, stud of the century!Like,I'm reaaally cocky when it comes to love like,I don't believe in love,whatsoever.You can't get butterflies constantly over the same person for years and years and years plus it gets boring and one day u will be married and crap and not feel anything at all and its all gunna be over anyways so who cares?Just cheat and play the living crap outta the world and everythings okay!
Wow,I have f*cked up views of things......

Funny how a melody,sounds like a memory♥
 

I love flirting with guys.It just comes naturally to me.It's sooo easy and fun!Like,the only problem thou is some get kindaa attatched err' likee the wrong ideaa.....
Hahah but I feel soooooo single.Like,lately it's like, super warm outside so I keep gettin' that like, spontaneous urge to do something spontaneous.Haha last time I got that urge it ended me up with a curfew ticket in 8th grade.....wooooops!But this time it's like, spontaneous///layout with a guy and talk and have a thang with like 873 diff. guys cuz I'm young and I can♥
Jesus can't wait for Summer♥
3 months,baby!♥
......and 15 pounds?
Let's hope♥(;

Okay,I've decided enough with the issues and bull*hit.I'm gettin' healthy.Eating right,exercising,actually doin' this.Like,I'm sick of being a mental lozer and screwing the crap up.I don't care what I weigh,I only care about what I feel,and the weight will drop with it.
I got this♥